Out of nowhere. . . 0_o

He scared me back there. Me and Sagua were at the canteen buying...what else but food. . . I was staying at the back waiting for her then I turned to my right and at that moment he turned to the left side of the canteen where we were. . .I think you got confused about the whole left right thing to make it simpler. . .I turned and at that moment he turned to. . .

After the whole turning HIS crew came from behind him and stayed at my back. . . it was awkward. . .very awkward. . . I moved away from them. . .taking little steps so it wouldn't be that clear. . . good thing Sagua just came out in time to walk away from the awkwardness. . .whew!

Peace. . .

Me and Kuya Cesar had a misunderstanding this morning. . .It bothered me the whole day. . .I was so furious at him. . .That morning I just wanted to strangle and tear him asunder. . .hahaha. . .but honestly I felt that. . .that continued until the first period in the afternoon! I just couldn't take it off my mind. . .The thing he shouted at me keeps echoing in my head. . .I just felt sort of guilty and angry. . .but when it was already recess I just calmed down. . . :) I felt fine. . .

By the time I went home I thought nothing of it. . .He went online. . .he said sorry and he was just having a bad morning that's why he shouted at me. . .I said it was OK. . .were fine now. . .were both at peace. . .

Am I high or just plain delirious. . .

Haha. . .It was just so funny. . . I thought out teacher told us to research something. . .I must be delirious. . .haha. . .ain't that weird. . .maybe it was because I was sleepy. . .maybe that was all. . .hehe. . .

I should seriously get some sleep. . . :)
sorry for the short post. . .don't have anything else right now. . .maybe next time. . .

Out Sick. . .

I'm here at home this morning. . .I have a tummy ache. . .every time eat something I go to the bath room. . .but it's not bad. . .but this morning I almost fainted it was like 5 am and I got up to go to the bathroom since my tummy hurt a lot. . .When I got out my alarm clock/cellphone went off. . .so sat down and didn't have any plans going back to sleep. . .my mom woke up asked me what was wrong so i told her she told me to get the Polar bear(is that right,sort of. . .it's like white flower only it's better) and rub it on my tummy i stood up while rubbing the medicine and everything slowly became black. . .I told mom I felt dizzy and ran to my bed. . .then I slept. . .my mom told me not to go to school this morning coz' my tummy might hurt again. . .

but in going to school this afternoon already I'm just gonna drink Diatabs to stop the pupping. . . . :)

Lost. . .

It's a Sunday. . .I feel lost. . .nowhere to be found. . .Everything just seems to be wrong to day. . .I don't who my friends are. . .I don't kn0w who cares. . .I don't who I love. . .I'm engrossed in my pain. . .I feel so stupid to think that he would ever like me. . .There are only 2 people that the person avoids, the person he hates and the person he once and still love. . .I'm the hated(i think) and that will never change. . .

Today is plainly wrong. . . hay. . .when will this ever end. . . you know what?? maybe i am in-love w/ him. . .maybe I'm not. . .but why do I feel hurt when his friends always tease him w/ his girl i know. . .why?? for all i know these questions will never be answered. . .

What is it??

I was resting my head on the "arm" of my arm chair. . .haha. . .anyway. . .I rested and thought about "EVIL". . .He just popped in my head like thous pop-ups on the net. . .isn't that a weird example. . .back to the subject. . .I thought of what was I feeling for him,if there still was at least. . .It just popped up if I was in-love w/ him. . .since the description of love is accepting the whole of him or her. . .while infatuation on the other hand is concentrated on liking someone w/ just 1 thing. . .

I already accepted him but I'm the only one who likes/loves him and he doesn't. . .now i do believe Love is confusing. . .

A Mess

This week was a mess. . .well my mind in particularly. . .It's just Thursday and we've already been doing tons of work, plus we still have Friday which is tomorrow. . .I've been stressed out for the past few days. . . and the only 10 things that have been keeping me alive this week are:

1. my classmate's jokes(of which some are corny, green and clean. . .I LOOOOOVE the corny ones. . .haha)
2. bloopers in the classroom(there really funny)
3. donuts! they sell them outside school. Dunkin Donuts to precise.
4. C2 iced tea. . .I'm beginning to think that I'm already getting addicted to it.
5. Breadpan! there sooooo yummy!
6. the COCC AsPirants(if I'm messed up. . .there worse. . .I pity them but i know they can do it)
7. our A.P./freetime(i can do anything. . .though i do listen sometimes)
8. weird and funny stories that my seatmates share.
9. my best buds. . .(they always keep me alive)
10. the uncontrollable noise(I love the noise we make. . .it's. . .it's. . .it's so loud!)

While her are the ten things that have tried killing me this week:

1. Unending quizzes and assignments(they kill everyone!)
2. boring lectures from teachers that are too scary.
3. a report in Arts(at the end it just pissed me off!)
4. research work(we had to do this until early in the morning. . .well some of us)
5. research work that wasn't even passed!(we have the right ti get angry)
6. research work for a game(yep! you got it. . .it's for a game)
7. very very very long notes we have to copy
8. very very very long notes that were dictated
9. Officers that are well going over board(I fell your pain aspirants)
10. messed up comments. . .it's really screwed up. . .

this was 4 days of torment and it's just 4 days!

One more thing that's messed up. . . .clashing colors on this page. . .remind me to change it. . .

Emotional

Ok. . .it's my 2nd post tonight. . .it's wierd. . .I kn0w. . .I went to browse some blogs and all and I went to Roxane's page. . .I read one of her postes about "Emo" as the new fashion trend and all. . .It made me think to. . .are these people problimatic or there just duin' it coz' well it's the latest trend. . .It makes them look cool and all that. . .

People label or call me "Emo". . .I'm not one of those people who go w/ the latest trends I usually go agenst these trends. . .and I know they to regard me as a poser but do they know me. . .no they don't. . . They don't know a thing about me. . .I hate being labeled as "EMO" it just makes my blood boil. . .So what if I have long bangs and have black nail polish painted on my toe nails; it just doesn't make me "emo" or emotional. . ."emo" means emotional. . .going through things that you can't handle and just makes you wanna break down, cry and just shout. . .peole who call themselves "emo" slit there wrists and take pictures just to be labeled as such. . .personaly, it's just stupid. . ."EMO" was never fashion trend and it never will be. . .it's called punk not "emo". . .

It just makes u mad since people refer to "emo" as fashion. . .emo is a feeling not clothing styles nor hair. . .

The 13th. . .

Today. . .Friday the 13th. . .Alot of stuff happened today.For instance a bottle of water fell on my toe just this evening. . .But the highlited event of today was at school. . . . . .I was dissmisal,everything was just normal;nothing odd actually. I went down w/ Lou-anne and Cathleen, i was supouse to help Lou-anne w/ the sashes for the COCC ASPIRANT'S. Before starting on the sashes we meet up w/ Diana and went to grabe a bite, while sting on the bench and enjoying our kwek-kwek, the basketball game was sttoped because some kid broke a window ;woOoOops. Then suddenly all the students were asked to come down from there classrooms, even the 4th yr were asked to come down and there review wasn't even done yet...so we minded our own beeswax. We tried to find a place to work on. . .we headed for the gym but by the gym's entrance was Sister Angelica telling the 4th yrs to come down. . .so passed through the back. . .as we were getting ready to do our thing another sister came and made us go, so we had no choice, we fled the gym. We went to the flagpole and worked there, then Patty came along. . .we didn't actually notice some of our classmates by the quadrangle forming a circle w/ teachers too. . .Patty told us that Oliver went up the stage (somewhere on top or something) and tried to do SUICIDE! W T F! I was shocked and conserned at the same time. . .we were classmates since 2nd grade and i treated him as a brother and it wouldn't be like Oliver to end everything for a girl thats just too stupid!

After the short conversation the gaurd came and forced us to go home. I was worried for Oliver. . .and confused why they let everyone go home. . . we had no choice but to go. . .I was left alone and had no choice but to go to Sir Aspiras and do my assignment. Oliver was there I asked him what really happend. . .He told me he went there to think about stuff since he wanted to be alone and said "magpapakamaty nla ako"... we know Oliver he didn't really mean that and then some kids overheard it and started to tell other people. . .the kids started shouting. . .then it made all the teachers worried and became a big fuss. . .

(p.s. sorry for the typ-os... :)

I almost fell for another one of his traps. . .Last night I actually felt that he cared. . .maybe I was just wrong. . .I'm always wrong. . .WOMAN!! snap out of it!! he would never LOVE me. . .maybe just a friend but nothing more than that. . .I have to say that more often. . .

The Wierd and the Wonderful??

OK . . . I just did the weirdest thing. . . I just opened up to my former crush. . . I told him about my life. I just felt like opening up. I just need someone to talk to and I felt that i had to talk to someone. It was just timing that we had a chance to chat and all that on the net. I was weird coz' we aren't actually close and all that. He just read and didn't say anything. Maybe he couldn't find the right words to say , or just maybe he was shocked and all that. It was totally weird. I'm not saying that I don't trust my friends. I just told him coz' my heart really felt heavy , I had no one else to talk to , I just needed to let my frustrations out and i know that he wouldn't really be affected coz' we aren't close. . .but he was OK. magaan an feeling after telling him everything you hide from everyone. It just felt good and all that.

He didn't stop me he just read everything I typed. And now this incident made me wonder maybe he isn't that arrogant at all. . .I hope he doesn't tell. . .

Which is Which. . .

It feels so good when you don't have a crush on someone. You just feel so free! you won't have to feel that awkward feeling when he's around. You won't feel the crushing pain when you find out that your beloved infatuation has his own beloved. And what else, the pain of failure and rejection. But with out these "inspirations" and feelings, you feel more happy, complete, energetic and care free. Everything is just perfect, but these feelings make you feel good and happy and gleeful. Yet the more you feel these things the more you fall further, the harder to get out of it and the more painful it just gets.

But why do we still fall in love? Even if we already know were just going to end up in tears. It's so ironic every time you would tell yourself that 'I WILL GET OVER HIM.' then every time you get a chance to look or even just have a glance of him you go crazy. It's just so weird. . .

If it was you which would you choose to be in love or to be out of love?? every things just a blur. . .I can't define which is which anymore. . .